Things that make me smile....

• Hearing my oldest son explaining something ever so patiently to my youngest son
• Getting a peck on the cheek from my oldest son who informs me that I'm the best mom ever cuz I teach him lots of important things
• Hearing my youngest say: "mommy, I was going to hit my brother but I kept my strength inside myself"
• Hearing my children pray
• Chatting with friends who I can learn from and friends who I can teach
• Knowing that even though I don't get it perfect, my life is a testimony to God's grace
• Getting to snuggle up with my wonderful hubby and make plans for our future
• Learning every day from a loving Father who has great plans for me and my offspring
• Knowing that my treasures are contained in active little dirty, curious bodies and souls and my investment into them will never be in vain
• Knowing the love of my Creator and Saviour

orchestra

Sometimes I wonder if it's all a grand orchestra that we are contributing to. I remember when I was learning to play the flute (a passing fancy, I have to admit). We were given the 'flute' line to practise and memorise. My niece was learning with me and we would play our little part day after day at home and to be honest it wasn't  the most exciting line of music!  I used to be in a choir and I sang in the alto section. When learning a new song, the choir master would go over and over the separate parts (tenor, alto, base) and each separate part didn't really sound amazing....separately. But several weeks into it when he put all voices together to do our individual part, the result was amazing! Maybe sometimes I don't understand the music I have been given to play. It sounds repetitive, boring and maybe a little out of key. But when I see my individual part along with the other parts that make up this orchestra of life, I see it's beauty and it's importance. If my (seemingly) unimportant line was missing, the orchestra would miss it. The music would be lacking, incomplete. But when I contribute the part I have been given to sing/play...the orchestra is complete and the music is brilliant.
What is your part to play? Don't hide behind the excuse that your part is obscure, menial, insignificant. YOU may not see it's importance right now from where you stand, but keep practising, keep playing your part...you are making life's orchestra complete....your contribution makes life's music whole.

Thoughts...

As my children get older and approach school age, I am getting this gnawing feeling of worry about what kind of school they will attend. Who will they be learning from...what will they learn? Is it better to accept the  status quo and lift my hands up and say, 'Well, everybody else who sends their kids to school seems to be ok with the results.' Or do I do something radical like home-school my kids?
But if I were to home-school, there are so many logistical questions that arise:
Would I give up work outside the home? How would our bills get paid? Where would I get the curriculum from? Would I drive my kids crazy (or visa versa) if we were together 24/7?
Just thinking...

years later...

oh my....I haven't updated this for YEARS! I am not sure how to delete it but I am afraid FB has really become this mommy's favorite way to communicate (short and sweet). Maybe I just don't have time anymore for sitting down and actually thinking deep thoughts let alone time to put my thoughts down on paper....
Motherhood is one of the best jobs I have ever had. It is hard work...oh boy is it hard work! There is very little time for a mommy to have alone time when her kids are very small. At least in MY experience. But then when you remember that your kids are only small once and it really is for such a short time...I guess you don't mind. In my case, I have become a mommy later in life so I have already had 'my' time and am happy to share the hours in my days with the 2 little men who call me mom. As they get older I find that things get harder. In the beginning it is all about keeping them fed and clean and healthy. But when they start talking and   forming concepts and opinions...it is all about directing them down the right path. I want soooo much for my children to know about (and to know personally) the God who created them. I don't dream for them to be rich or famous or even great inventors of ideas or theories or technology...but I dream of them coming to me one day and laying their hands on my head and praying over me. Blessing me...calling out to a God they know as Father, Saviour, Friend on MY behalf. That is my dream for my children. Everything else will fall into place.
And the other day I read this in the Bible:

Do not be afraid, Jacob, my servant, 
    Jeshurun,^[a] whom I have chosen.
³ For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
    and streams on the dry ground; 
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
    and my blessing on your descendants. 
⁴ They will spring up like grass in a meadow,
    like poplar trees by flowing streams. 
⁵ Some will say, ‘I belong to the Lord’;
    others will call themselves by the name of Jacob;
still others will write on their hand, ‘The Lord’s,’ 
    and will take the name Israel.
(Isaiah 44)


Let it be Lord, let it be!
(yawn) that's all for now from this tired mama.

busy mommy

life as a mommy is busier than I realised it would be. Blogs are very hard to keep up at this stage so short posts and posting pics and vids on FB suits us much better. Our baby is growing into a little toddler now and our family is growing, too. A new little brother will join Kaleb in March of next year. God is good!

Kaleb's dedication - 29 March 2009

New Life

Well, life is much more busy than it ever has been before. No one could have prepared me for the amount of things that would change in my life as a result of having a baby. LAUNDRY, for example!!! We used to wash a couple loads every week between the two of us and now it is literally every day. Now, to some of you that sounds very uncomplicated...but picture this. We have no dryer...so clothes hang around on 'air dryers' and draped over the radiators to dry. In this cold climate, it typically takes 1 day to dry a load of laundry if I am vigilant and keep swapping the clothes on the radiators with the ones on the air dryers. So with all the washing that is going on now, there is not enough hours in the day to dry everything....so now we have loads of condensation in the house...making it damp and in some cases, there is moldy stuff growing on the walls. And it's not just Kaleb's clothes! Everyday I battle to keep clean clothes on...Kaleb's urp, pooh or wee are constantly scheming against my efforts to be presentable and pleasant smelling. This morning before Tico left for work, he hugged me and stepped away and said, "You smell like vomit"...thank you, Kaleb! ;-)
Another thing that changed significantly is our 'couple time'. Somehow, Kaleb always seems to know when things are heating up and puts an abrupt stop to it by waking up and crying in the most desperate voice! That puts a damper on things straight away. But my sister assures me that we will get the hang of it (and she has 5 kids!).
The other thing I took for granted before having a baby... was reading and finishing a good book! I hardly have time to read a few pages at a time. I got a John Grisham book from the library the other week...and it is always hard to put his books down...unless a baby is screaming in your ear! :-) That would also be why my blog hasn't been updated for so long!
I had heard that you say good-bye to sleep when you have a baby. Well we haven't said good-bye officially, but it definitely only comes in short intervals. A typical night for me would be to grab a nap (if we are home and I am lucky) between 8 - 10pm. Wake up and feed Mr K. Put him in his bed at 12am. Wake up to feed Kaleb at 3am. Put him in his bed at 4:30 or 5am. Wake up at 6:30 or 7am to feed him again and try and put him back to bed by 8am. After that it would generally be a feed every 3-4 hours during the day...with random naps throughout the day. Tico is pretty insistent that I nap when the baby does, which I try to do if there isn't anything more urgent to do!
But let me take this opportunity to brag on my husband...he helps so much with the housework and with Kaleb. He is a great cook so he keeps us well fed, too. He does the shopping (I do miss these outings but it is so complicated to go shopping with a little baby!) and he is just so good to us! Now, I know some ladies are not as blessed to have helpful hubbies...and some research has shown that men leave baby-things to the ladies to do because it isn't 'man-ly' or just because they aren't very confident in their 'baby skills'. But my personal experience is that when I see my hubby rocking Kaleb to sleep in his arms, I just think to myself "What a hottie!!!"...it is very man-ly! We are a team and we are learning together. I think my love for Tico grows with each new skill he acquires regarding baby K...whether it is patiently rocking him to sleep or trying to help him get rid of trapped gas by doing the 'bicycle' with his legs or just talking to him and kissing him. He is a good daddy. I somewhere heard that the best gift you can give your kids is to leave them in no doubt that you love their daddy/mommy! This gives them a sense of security next to none!
And speaking of things that have changed since baby Kaleb arrived....no one prepared me for the amazing and deep love I would feel for him. And this too grows daily. I mean the other day I was on the bus and there was a grumpy dog who was sniffing around. I felt so protective of Kaleb...I would have thrown myself in front of the stroller if that dog had come close to us...I would throw myself in the line of fire to save my son...this is an amazing love I have never felt for anyone. Of course I love Tico but it is a different kind of love. This little person depends on me and is unable to fend for himself...he needs me in a way I have never been needed. And I like to feel needed! :-)
So to wrap it up...(it has taken me like 2 hours to write this with all my little interruptions) life is very different now. There are daily opportunities for growth and stretching. My patience gets daily exercise!! But as the poem on Julie French's blog says...my life could have been different, BUT I CHOSE YOU!!!

I am attaching some random pictures for you to see...enjoy!

CHEESE!!!!

Kaleb's new toys

Daddy knows how to make me smile...

out and about in Edinburgh...

when Auntie Dea visited us...

sleeping peacefully